White Nights 4th Night Second Half

Girl: But I am calm! Stop fussing! It’s true. My tears will dry. You don’t really think that I’d go and drown myself or something, do you?

Girl: Tell me! You wouldn’t have acted that way, would you? You wouldn’t have hurled a shameful sneer at a girl who’d come to you herself; you wouldn’t have made fun of her weak, tender heart. You’d have spared her. You’d have realized that she was lonely, unable to take care of herself, unable to prevent herself from falling in love with you, that she hadn’t done anything wrong… that she hadn’t done anything… Ah, my God, my God!

Guy: Nastenka! You’re torturing me, Nastenka! You’re tearing at my heart, you’re killing me! I can’t remain silent! I must tell you, at last, all that has accumulated inside me.

Girl: What’s come over you?

Guy: Nastenka, everything I’m going to tell you now is absurd, impossible, idiotic! I know that it can never happen, but I can’t remain silent. So, in the name of your present suffering, I beg you to forgive me in advance!

Girl: Well, what is it?

Guy: I know it cannot be, but I love, Nastenka. That’s what it is. Now you know everything. Now see if you can still talk to me the way you did before, if you can listen to what I;m going to say—but what of it?

Girl: I’ve known all along that you loved me, but I thought that you just loved me simply—you know… Oh, good gracious!

Guy: It was simply at first, Nastenka, but now—now—I’m exactly in the position you were in, Nastenka when you came to him with that bundle of yours. In fact, my plight is even more hopeless than yours was then, for he wasn’t in love with anyone, but you are.

Girl: What are you saying? You puzzle me altogether. But listen, why o you… I mean, how is it that… Ah, God, I don’t know what I’m saying. But you…

Guy: Well, what am I to do, Nastenka, what? I’m to blame for having abused… but no, no, it’s not my fault, really—I know it, I feel it—for my heart tells me I’m right. There’s mp way I can harm you or offend you! I was your friend before, and I’m your friend now. I haven;t betrayed a thing. And now, Nastenka, the tears are running down my checks; let ‘em run, they aren’t hurting anyone. They’ll dry, Nastenka…

Girl: Oh come, sit down, sit down. Ah, dear God!

Guy: No, Nastenka, I won’t sit down; I can’t stay here. You shouldn’t see me anymore. I’ll tell you all I have in my heart, then leave. I want only to tell you that you’d never have found out I love you. I’d have kept my secret. I wouldn’t have inflicted my selfishness upon you at suck a moment. No! But I couldn’t keep it to myself. It was you who brought it up; it’s your fault, it’s all your fault. You can’t send me away.

Girl: But no, of course not. I don’t intend to send you away.

Guy: So you won’t send me away? But I was going to run away from you anyway. I’ll leave too, but first I must tell you everything because I could hardly ear it when you were talking and crying and so full of despair, because… Well, because—let me say it, Nastenka, so much love… And I felt terribly bitter because I couldn’t keep silent, I had to talk. I had to, Nastenka.

Girl: yes, yes tell me, talk to me! It must seem strange to you that I should say that, but go on, speak! I’ll explain later, I’ll explain everything!

Guy: You’re sorry for me, Nastenka, you’re simply sorry for me. Well, the way I look at it—what is lost is lost, what has been done cannot be undone. Isn’t that so? Now you know everything, and that’s the point of departure. All right then, that’s fine, but listen to this: while you were sitting here crying, I thought—oh, please let me tell you what I thought—I thought—of course I’m well aware it cannot be, Nastenka—I thought that somehow or other, without it having anything to do with me… you didn’t love him anymore… In that case, before—I would’ve behaved in such a way that you’d have come to love me… For you said yourself that you’d almost fallen in love with me, Nastenka, you said so yourself! And what then? Nothing much. That’s just about all I had to say! All I have left to describe is what it would have been like had you fallen in love with me. But there’s not much I can say about that. So listen, my friend Nastenka, for you’re still my friend—I am, of course, a simple man, poor and unimportant, but that’s not what matters ( I keep straying from the subject out of shyness, nastenka); only—I’d have loved you so much that even if you’d still gone on loving that man, you’d still never have felt my love as an imposition upon you. You’d only have heard a grateful, warm heart beating by your side and felt its proximity every second… Ah, Nastenka, Nastenka, what have you done to me?

Girl: Stop, I don’t want you to cry! Come, get up, come with me, and stop crying! Stop it! Come, perhaps I’ll tell you something. After all, he’s abandoned me, forgotten me, even though I still him, for I don’t want to lie to you… But tell me truly: if, for instance, I did come to love you—that’s is, if I only—oh, my dear, dear friend, when I think how I hurt you, when I laughed at your love, pretending to congratulate you for not falling in love with me— Ah, God, how could I have failed to foresee… How stupid I was! But now I’ve made up my mind—I’ll tell you everything.

Guy: You know what, Nastenka, I’ll go away! I simply torment you when I’m near you. Now, because of me. But I don’t want to add to your sorrow. I am the guilty one, Nastenka, but forgive me and farewell!

Girl: Wait, listen to me! Can’t you wait?

Guy: Wait? Wait for what?

Girl: I do love him but I’ll get over it. I’m bound to. In fact, I’m already getting over it. I feel it… One can never tell I might even overcome it today. Because I hate him—he was making fun of me, and he never loved me; because, finally I myself—I love you… Yes—I love you—I love you the way you love me. Remember, I told you that before; you heard me! Because you’re a better mean than he is; you’re more honorable; because he…

Girl: Wait, wait, I’ll get over it in a moment… Don’t think these tears mean that… I feel weak… You know, you mustn’t think I’m fickle and irresponsible, that I’m so quick to forget and to betray. I’ve loved him for a whole year, and I swear to god that I’ve never, not once, been unfaithful to him. Not even in thought. But he’s scorned that; he’s made light of my feelings. Well, good luck to him! But he has also wounded me and slighted my love. No, I don’t love him, for I can only love one who is generous, understanding, and kind, because I myself am like that—so he’s unworthy of me. All right, I wish him all the best! It’s better like this than finding out later that I had deluded myself, than discovering too late what sort of man he is… Anyways, it’s over! But come to think of it, my dear, maybe all my love for him was nothing but a delusion; maybe it began as a childish adventure; maybe It was caused by the wish to escape from under my grandmother’s thumb; maybe I was destined to love a man other then him, a man who could feel for me, understand me, and… But let’s leave that! All I want to say is that if, although I love—no, rather loved—him—although, you might say… If you think your love is great enough to displace my former love… If you will take pity on me and not leave me to fave my destiny all alone without offering me consolation, support, and hope—if you’re willing to love me gratitude—I mean my love—will, in the end, be worthy of your love… Here, will you take my hand now?

Guy: Nastenka! Nastenka! Oh, Nastenka!

Girl: Enough, enough for now, that’s definitely enough. Everything has been said now, hasn’t it? Right? And you’re happy and so am I. Not another word about it. Wait. Spare me. For heaven’s sake talk of something else!

Guy: Right, Nastenka, enough! I’m happy now, I… So, Nastenka, let’s talk of something else. Quickly. Yes, I’m ready…

Guy: I live all by myself now, Nastenka. But tomorrow… Of course, you know, I’m poor. I’ve only twelve hundred rubles, but it doesn’t matter, for—

Girl: Of course not. And then my grandmother has a pension. So she won’t be a liability. She must, of course, come and live with us.

Guy: Certainly, of course she must live with us. The only snag is that Matryona—

Girl: Ah! And we have out Fyokla!

Guy: Matryona’s kind. The only thing wrong with her is that she has absolutely no imagination. But it doesn’t matter!

Girl: Never mind, they can live together. Anyway you’re coming over to live with us tomorrow.

Guy: What did you say say? Come to you place? That’s fine by me!

Girl: Yes, you must rent our top floor room. It’s empty now. There was an old woman living there, but she’s left, and I know Grandma wants to let it to a young man. I asked her,“Why a young man?” and she said: “I’m getting old, see, but don;t you get it into your head, Nastenka, that I’m trying to marry you off.” So I guessed that was the reason.

Guy: Ah, Nastenka!

Girl: All right, that’s enough now. And, by the way, where do you live? I’ve forgotten.

Guy: Over there, by that bridge, in the Barasnikov house.

Girl: The large house?

Guy: Yes, it’s quite large.

Girl: I know it. It’s a nice house, but forget it anyway and come and live with us. Quickly.

Guy: I’ll come tomorrow, Nastenka, no later than tomorrow. I’m somewhat late with my rent, but that’ll be all right. I’ll be getting my pay soon.

Girl: You know what? Perhaps I’ll give private lessons. First I’ll learn something myself, then I’ll teach it.

Guy: It’s all turned out wonderfully… And soon I’m due for a bonus, Nastenka.

Girl: Then, starting tomorrow, you’ll be my lodger.

Guy: Yes, and we’ll go to see The Barber of Seville, for they’ll be putting it on again soon.

Girl: Yes, yes, let’s, and if not The Barber, we’ll go and see something else.

Guy: All right, something else then. That would be better of course. I should have thought of it myself…

Girl: It’s time for me to go back home now, enough of this childish stuff!

Guy: All right, Nastenka, but I—I won’t be able to go to sleep tonight, so I don’t think I’ll go home.

Girl: I don’t expect to sleep either. Nevertheless, I want you to see me to my door.

Guy: Most certainly.

Girl: But this time it must be for you.

Guy: Yes, yes, of course.

Girl: Do I have your promise? For I must get home in the end.

Guy: I promise.

Girl: Then let’s go.

Guy: Let’s go Nastenka, and look at the sky: it will be a wonderful day tomorrow. What a blue sky! What a moon! Look at that yellow cloud about to veil the moon. Look at it! Look at it—no, it has just missed the moon. Look at it—look!

Guy: Nastenka, who is it, Nastenka?

Girl: It’s him!

Second half of First Night – Nick’s Post

Girl: “All right then,” the girl said, “I suppose I’ll be here tomorrow night too. At ten. I see I can’t stop you, and I have to come here anyway. But don’t think I’ve made a date with you, I warn you: I have to be here for me own reasons. So I may as well tell you now: I won’t mind if you’re here too, because that may save me and unpleasent incident like tonight’s. But that’s just incidental. To be brief, I’d be very pleased to see you… to say a couple of words to you. But I don’t want you to think badly of me. You mustn’t think that I make dates easily. I would never have agreed to mme you again had it not be for… No, let it remain a secret! Only, from now on, lets reach and agreement.

Guy: “An agreement!” Just name it! I’ll agree to anything in advance!” I said with ardor. “I assure you I’ll be docile, respectful… you know me.”

Girl: “It’s because I know you that I want you to come tomorrow.” the girl said, laughing. “And I know you fully. But if you come, it must be on my terms. First – please do as I ask, for I’m being completely frank about it – don’t fall in love with me. You mustn’t believe me. But I’d like us to be friends. Here, lets shake hand on it. But remember, no falling in love!”

Guy: “I swear!” I shouted, taking her hand.

Girl: “Stop, don’t swear so readily. I know very well that you can burst into flame in a second, like gunpowder- forgive me for saying so. Ah, if you knew… I, too – I have had no one with whom I could exchange a word, of whom to ask advice. Where could I look for advisors? Certainly not in the street. But you’rean exception. I know you as if we’d been friends for twenty years. Am I right in thinking you won’t let me down?”

Guy: “You’ll see. Only I don’t know how I’ll keep myself alive, waiting for twenty – four hours.”

Girl: “Sleep deeply. Good night, and remember I’ve put my trust in you. But you put it so well yourself: Does one reall have to give an account of every feeling, even of brotherly compassion? You know, you put it so well, that right away I decided to confide in you.”

Guy: “For heaven’s sake, what is it? What?”

Girl: “Tomorrow. Let it remain a secret for the moment. It’s better for you that way; at least from a distance all this mat resemble a romance. I may tell you tomorrow and I may not. I’ll talk to you some more; we’ll become better acquanted first.”

Guy: “Well, I – I’ll tell you everything about myself tomorrow! But it’s as if a miracle were happening to me. Where am I? Oh, God! Tell me, are you glad you didn’t get angry with me or chase me away at first, as another woman would have done? It took you two minutes to make me happy and once for all. Yes, happy. Who knows, perhaps you’ve made me accept myself, maybe you’ve resolved my doubts. Perhaps such moods come over me that… Well, I’ll tell you everything tomorrow, you’ll know all…

Girl: “Good, I accept; and you’ll begin…”

Guy: “Agreed.”

Girl: “Good night.”

Guy: “Good night.”

We parted. I walked around all night. I couldn’t make myself go home. I was so happy… Tomorrow!

begining of first night

Guy: (walking down the street and sees a girl running down the street being chased, he walks to the other side of the street and scares off the guy.)“If you would allow me to take your arm that man wont dare annoy you again” (looks at the girl) “now you see you shouldn’t have spurned me like that, nothing would’ve happened if I were at your side.”

Girl: ”but I didn’t know you; I thought you too…”

Guy: (cutting off the girl) “ do you feel you know me now?”

Girl: “a little, for instance, I know your trembling, tell me why.”

Guy: “ah, you’ve guessed it from the start. Yes you’ve seen through me straight away. Im afraid of women, and its that fear that makes me tremble a few moments ago when that gentleman frightened you. Im frightened now, its like a dream although ive never actually dreamed that id be talking to a woman.”

Girl: “really?”

Guy: “yes. And if you feel my arm tremble its because it has never yet been held by a pretty hand like yours. Im quite unused to being with women. In fact, ive never got used to them. I live alone, I don’t even know if I had said something stupid to you. Please tell me frankly I promise I wont be offended.”

Girl: “no,no on the contrary. And since you want me to be frank, let me tell you that women like your sort of shyness; ill even tell you that I like it too, and I wont ask you to leave me till Im at my doorstep”

Guy: “if you go on saying things like that ill lose my shyness and, along with it, my advantage…”

Girl: “advantage? Advantage to what end? Ah, now you’ve said something I don’t like.”

Guy:” I am sorry, it just slipped off my tongue, you cant really expect that, at such a moment, I shouldn’t wish that…”

Beginning of 4th night

 

Guy:  Nastenka!

Girl:  Come here, hurry!

Girl:  Well, let me have the letter!  You have it, haven’t you?

Guy:  No, I have no letter, but haven’t you seen him yet?

Girl:  Well, good luck to him, good luck to him, if that’s the way he feels about me.

Guy:  Stop, stop…

Girl:  Don’t try to make me feel better, don’t mention him, don’t tell me he’ll come, don’t persuade me he hasn’t thrown me over so cruelly, so callously as he has.  What did I do wrong?  Could it be something I wrote in that ill-fated letter?

Girl:  as, how cruel and callous!  And he never even bothered to write me a single line!  If only he had answered that he didn’t need me, that he rejected me.  But no, he hasn’t written a word during these three days!  How easy it is for him to hurt and humiliate a poor girl whose only sin is to love him!  Ah, my God!  My God!  When I think it was I who came to him in the first place, that I humbled myself before him, cried, begged him for a crumb of his love…  and after all that!  Listen, it cant be-its not natural-one of us, you or I, has made a mistake!  Maybe he never got my letter!  Maybe he doesn’t know a thing to thins minute!  How is it possible-please explain to me, for God’s sake-for him to be so unspeakably rude to me?  No a single word!  People show more pity than that for the lowest of creatures!  Maybe he’s heard something; maybe someone has told him some slander about me?  What do you think?

Guy:  I’ll go, Nastenka, and see him on your behalf tomorrow.

Girl:  Yes?

Guy:  I’ll tell him everything and ask him to explain.

Girl:  Yes?  Yes?

Guy:  write him a letter.  Don’t say no.  Wait!  Ill forces him to respect what you did.  Hell be told everything, and if—

Girl:  No, my dear, no, that’s enough!  No more about it not one line not one word, enough’s enough!  I don’t know him.  I don’t love him anymore.  Ill forget him…

Guy:  Clam yourself, calm yourself, Nastenka!  Here sit down.

In the Hospital.

Torture!

      Why do people torture? Is it because they feel powerful, because they want what others have, or to break others spirits? These reasons are not good enough, but then again none are!  Torture may come back to hurt the torturer as well. A few ways to torture people inlclude whipping, suffocation, assault, and drowning. Torturing goes back many years, as well as took place in many areas. Any kind of abuse is not right, and there is no reason for it. Torture comes in many forms such as mental, emotional and/or physical damage, also mentioned above.  It doesn’t take a true man to perform torture, it takes someone inferior and weak to do something as wrong as this.  The last thing needed to be said about torture is, not so good minus.

Dostoyevsky Biography

Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Life:
(1821-1881)
Dostoyevsky was born on October 30, 1821 in Moscow, Russia. The second of seven children.
He was arrested on the 23rd of April, 1849 with others for being part of a group called the Petrashevsky Circle, Dostoyevsky and the others were later sentenced to death on November 16th, 1849.  His sentence changed to imprisonment in Siberia. Where he spent four years doing hard labor and four years as a soldier in Semipalatinsk.
He married twice. In 1857 Dostoevsky married Maria Isaev, a 29-year old widow and after she died in 1864. In 1867 he remarried to Anna Snitkin, a 22-year old stenographer.
He wrote 32 books in his lifetime.
Dostoyevsky died in St. Petersburg on February 9, 1881. He was buried in Aleksandr Nevsky monastery in St. Petersburg. Forty thousand people attended his funeral.

Education:
He was taught at home early by his parents and at a private school.
Shortly after his mother passed away, Dostoyevsky and his brother were sent to an Army Engineering Institute in St. Petersburg from 1837 to 1843.
He was made lieutenant in 1842 and in 1843 he left the Engineering Academy.

Career:
In the same year he left the Engineering Academy, he completed a Russian translation of a novel, which got him little attention. He then decided to start writing his own fiction stories.
He’s known as a Russian novelist and short-story writer.
His first novel was Poor Folk, appearing in 1846. After this novel being published in book form, at age 24 Dostoyevsky became a literary celebrity.

Family:
His father was a retired military surgeon that served as a doctor at the Mariinsky Hospital for the Poor in Moscow.
His mother died in 1837 of tuberculosis, when he was only 16.
Two years later, in 1839, his father died probably of natural causes, but there were strong rumors that he was murdered by his own serfs.